Anger

Yesterday was a tough day.  I woke up and felt testy.  I unintentionally snapped at Kelly, which made his day bad, and when I got to work found that I was easily annoyed. It wasn't until mid morning that I realized what was going on.  I remember after the death of our son, Casey, waking up one day and feeling the same way, testy, annoyed and downright mad.  Not at anyone, in particular, just mad and after contemplation understood that this feeling was one of the grief process emotions.  The light bulb turned on and the realization that I was experiencing this same emotion but for a very different reason.  Now it was much easier to process and not react.  People may say that I have a perfectly good reason to be mad and that it's okay.  I would agree that it is part of the grief process and I need to feel and work through all the emotions that come with it, but it's not okay to snap at others and treat them unkindly.

As I contemplated this the thought crossed my mind the counsel the Lord gave to Joseph Smith while imprisoned in the dungeons of Liberty Jail.  He was in depths of sorrow having suffered so much starvation, neglect, degradation and humiliation.  He pleaded with the Lord for his family, his friends, the other captives and himself that the Lord would soften the hearts of the men who held them captive and were persecuting the saints.
"O God, where art thou? And where is thy pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?
How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated." His soul's pleadings are deeply touching.  I LOVE the Lord's response to him.  "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment:.........Thou are not yet as Job...."
As I was contemplating the anger and the experience itself, my thoughts went to Job.  I have not experiences even close to Job and then my thoughts went to the Savior.  The Savior experienced EVERYTHING in the Garden of Gethsamane and then on the cross.  Every type of humilation and persecution known to mankind and during this treatment, he was never unkind.  He even healed the ear of the arresting guard.  Yes, I may be entitled to the feeling of anger, but the Lord would not want me to be unkind to those around me and I pray that if at any time I am that my loved ones will forgive me.  "I am not yet like Job."